Time and Time Again I Feel Nothing

Source: Photograph past Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

Think of the times that yous felt flooded with feelings—intense emotions such as joy, sadness, love, or fear. Such feelings tin can be electrifying. As they flow through yous, they pack a powerful dial. They can deepen your empathy, go along you emotionally attuned to yourself and others, and guide y'all through good times and bad.

Only what happens when you look inward and find nothing? What happens when y'all don't know what you're feeling?

What practice you do so?

When Feelings Are Blocked Off

Many of u.s.a. experience moments when nosotros of a sudden feel numb or apathetic:

"I went blank."

"I couldn't experience anything."

"I felt dead inside."

This is especially troubling when you find yourself in situations that unremarkably produce strong emotional responses, such as holiday celebrations, weddings, or memorials. When yous can't identify your feelings, it's not unusual to experience shame or even question your humanity: "What's wrong with me?" you lot may wonder. "Why can't I feel anything? Am I a psychopath?"

When the Body Switches to Survival Manner

When you tin can't feel your emotions, you're probable to be in a dissociative state. This frequently occurs when people are overwhelmed, and the body switches to survival mode, resulting in numbness or blankness. "Non feeling" is besides a protective psychic defense during a time of crisis. (See The Trunk Keeps the Score, a wonderful book well-nigh trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.)

Here are five common causes of dissociation:

1. Trauma. Trauma comes in many forms. It can exist a life-altering event, similar the death of a loved one. Or an blow, injury, or illness. Traumatic events tin be far more subtle for children, such every bit being bullied at school or facing a classroom humiliation. During such events, feelings become numb, and the trauma is stored away in the trunk until the time is correct to process it. (Come across "How to Recover When Life Crushes You")
2. Clinical low. The longer you lot experience depressed, the more than trouble you accept identifying your feelings. A heaviness takes over, emotions are dulled, and yous experience life through a haze of indifference.
3. Crippling anxiety. When anxiety becomes a dominant strength in your life, it tends to rob you of other emotions by keeping you in a state of abiding fright and tension.
4. Drug and alcohol abuse. A friend once told me that he lost x years of memories due to his drug and booze abuse. Coma episodes and retentiveness loss non just rob y'all of feelings, but they tin can also make you treat loved ones with cold indifference.
5. Tragedy. Unlike trauma, tragedy is driven primarily by loss. The bigger the loss, the more difficulty you may have knowing your feelings. For example, many people are upset when they tin can't cry at a funeral. They stare off into the distance or sleepwalk through the services. At such times of profound grief, dissociative states are mutual.

Recovering Lost Feelings

Oft in therapy, people recover lost feelings. When you feel rubber and out of danger, your defenses start to come down, and cached feelings begin to sally. This procedure can't be rushed; lost feelings only reemerge when you're ready. To force someone to feel something earlier they are fix can result in considerable harm. Always remember, everyone heals at a different pace.

Every bit you brainstorm to regain feelings and express them, a sense of relief takes hold, as if a weight has lifted off your shoulders. Even if the reactivated feelings are painful, you lot find yourself rejoicing; yous're finally free of the brunt of conveying them. (See "Traits That Brood Hopelessness and How to Create Hope")

How to Reactivate Feelings

If you detect yourself in a dissociative state, endeavor the following steps:

1. Accept a deep breath. People in dissociative states tend to concur their breath, sending their bodies into a panic. Remind yourself to breathe; in fact, aid yourself to some nice gulps. Deep breathing brings fresh oxygen to your blood and raises your metabolism then you can focus and make meliorate decisions.
2. Step away. When possible, give yourself a time out. Stride away and articulate your head before you become impulsive or reactive. Think about your options, and then make a mindful choice.
3. Move your trunk. The body tends to freeze up during dissociation. Shake off tension through exercise. Be artistic: Use music or trip the light fantastic toe to become yourself moving.
4. Stimulate your other senses. I worked with a young woman who told me that she would pause when she felt a dissociative episode coming on and accept a shower. For her, a shower was a take a chance to reboot her feelings and reverberate. Other people find eating, journaling, drawing, or listening to music effectively disrupt dissociation.
5. Talk to someone. Pick upward the phone, call a friend, dialogue with someone. Good for you relationships are always a stabilizing force and the best way to find your fashion dorsum to yourself.

For more, see "7 Hurts That Don't Heal and Three Means to Cope"

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/202012/5-reasons-why-people-may-feel-nothing